Stupidity
by hpchika
Summary: Just a little something that my cousin charmedone and I made for laughs. Hope you read and enjoy!


STUPIDITY  
  
Disclaimer: We own nothing but the plot.  
  
Setting: Hogwarts corridor, at night.  
  
Hermione: What are you doing?  
  
Draco: I'm trying to hushitolup.  
  
H: Why?  
  
D: It's been 50 years sicne I did this.  
  
H: Did what?  
  
D: Killed a mudblood.  
  
H: Mudblood's a real fowl name for someone who is muggleborn, someone with no magic parents, someone like me. It's a sort of term one ussually hears in civilized conversation.  
  
D: No on easked your opinion, you filthy little mudblood.  
  
H: You'll pay for that one, now eat slugs!  
  
D: You wish.  
  
H: You're doing this for Voldemort, aren't you?  
  
D: You're very brave to say his name, or are you foolish?  
  
H: Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.  
  
D: No one will save you tonight, Granger.  
  
H: You're forgetting one thing. As long as Dumbledore's around I'm safe, as long as Dumbledore's around, I can't be touched.  
  
D: I'm afraid he's not here to protect you now. Professor Dumbledore recieved an urgent owl form the Ministry of Magic and left immediately for London.  
  
H: What an idiot!  
  
D: Who?  
  
H: Dumbledore!  
  
D: My father always said Dumbledore was the worst thing that ever happened to this place.  
  
H: Of course! I've never seen a more complicated person.  
  
D: How long do you think it will take for Dumbledore to come back?  
  
H: A month.  
  
D: A month? BUt Hermione, I could have petrified you by then.  
  
H: I know. Wait, Now you're calling me by my first name, Draco. (smiles)  
  
D: Think my name's funny, do you?  
  
H: Malfoys are known for being stupid. It's in your blood.  
  
D: Professor Lockhart said fame is a fickle friend, celebrity is as celebrity does. You know that, don't you?  
  
H: Clearly, fame isn't everything, is it, Malfoy? It doesn't matter now. In a few hours, the mandrake draft will be ready and those who have been petrified will be alright again.  
  
D: Don't you have anything better to do than listen to class?  
  
H: But mandrake, or mandragora, is used to return those who have been petrified to their original state. It's also quite dangerous, the cry of the mandrake is fatal to anyone who hears it.  
  
D: Ten points from Gryffindor, for being an insufferable know-it-all.  
  
H: (Lifts her wand and points it at Draco) Petrificus Totalus!  
  
D: Finite...  
  
H: No! Even with the proper wand it's too risky.  
  
D: Have it your way then. Serpensortia! (Wand releases a snake).  
  
(Hermione stops and utters a sort of snake language which made the snake stop).  
  
Let me. Impera Ivanesca! You're a Parselmouth! Why didn't you tell us?  
  
H: Parselmouth: It means you can talk to snakes.  
  
D: I know what it means!  
  
H: It's the second time I've done it. I accidentally set a python on Harry's cousin once.  
  
D: Hermione, this is bad.  
  
H: What's bad? If I hadn't told that snake not to attack me...  
  
D: Oh, that's what you said to it!  
  
H: You were here! You heard me!  
  
D: I heard you speaking Parseltongue, snake language.  
  
H: How can I speak a language without knowing I can?  
  
D: Hermione, listen to me. There's a reason why Slytherin's symbol is a serpent. Salazar Slytherin was a Parselmouth, he could talk to snakes too! You... you're the Heir of Slytherin! You're Voldemort! I bet Dumbledore saw right through you.  
  
H: Of course! Voldemort is my past, present, and future!  
  
(A bird appears out of nowhere).  
  
D: Isn't that Fawkes? Dumbledore's pet?  
  
H: Fawkes is a phoenix. Phoenixes are fascinating creatures. They can carry immensely heavy loads and thier tears have healing powers.  
  
D: That's bloody brilliant!  
  
H: Most adminrable sentiments, Mr. Malfoy.  
  
(Ron arrives out of nowhere).  
  
Ron: The chamber of secrets has been opened!  
  
H: Is it written in blood? You'll be next, purebloods!  
  
(Hermione aims her wand at Ron; Draco aims his wand at Hermione).  
  
H/D: Petrificus Totalus!  
  
(Ron puts up a sword and the spell bounces to Draco. Draco becomes petrified along with Hermione. Ron looks around).  
  
R: I don't want to be left behind (Points his wand at himself). PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!  
  
You get the picture.  
  
THE END. 


End file.
